How to protect your children from being abused by divorced husband?Posted by: indianaonlinedivorce | Posted on: March 24, 2019
No marriage, even seemingly quite prosperous, is immune from divorce. Besides, not always the spouses have enough intelligence and restraint to part peacefully, in a civilized way, without mutual claims and accusations. It also happens that the ex-husband begins to pursue a divorced woman with children, threatening them, literally not letting them pass, and sometimes even resorts to violence. He may do so because of wounded pride, painful jealousy, or because he sincerely considers his wife or children to be the culprit of the breakup of the family.
It happens that the husband behaves so if he still loves the woman and hopes to get her back. In this case, you can try to explain frankly, without tears, and threats claim. Just tell him: “Understand that this just happened. I am ready to admit that there is my share of guilt in divorce. I am grateful to you for many things, and I will keep good memories. However, the resumption of the previous relationship is out of the question. I am sorry; I do not love you anymore. Let’s stay friends!” If a man is no stranger to the voice of reason, if he has a sense of self-worth, this can affect him. The main thing is that you need to speak calmly, judiciously, without giving free rein to your emotions.
Well, if he stubbornly continues to haunt you or your children – warn him that you no longer intend to tolerate such behavior, and will resort to all available means of protection. Write a statement to the police about all threats, express personally or by telephone. Unfortunately, America reality is such that law enforcement agencies are very reluctant to intervene in family disputes, even when the family has already broken up. But do not give up, follow the proverb: “A drop of water and a stone wears away.” If necessary, write complaints to the prosecutor’s office about police inaction.
If it came to beatings – immediately contact the nearest emergency room, take a certificate of injuries and go to the police, demanding that a criminal case is opened. Be prepared for the fact that they will try to brush aside from you.
If necessary, seek legal advice. An experienced lawyer will tell you what is best to act in a particular situation. You can find help from a psychologist or by calling the “helpline.”
Get a means of self-defense to protect your children — a stun gun or a gas spray, and learn how to use it. If the ex-husband tries to raise his hand on you or your children again – use it.
Sometimes a fairy tale ends quickly and even worse if it has a sad ending. So it is in marriage. Once people who have loved each other, who gave birth and raised children, divorced. Besides, well, if, after leaving the court, they maintain respectful relations, and do not disperse enemies.
It is not always possible to maintain good relations with former spouses, despite the years spent together and typical children. You should not look for the guilty, because the relationship is both created by two and collapsing by them. The main thing is to keep calm, keep yourself in hand and not give vent to overwhelming emotions. If it is impossible to disperse peacefully, then you need to act calmly and calmly, especially when it comes to children.
Find a competent lawyer, for example here. Let him deal with all legal formalities. He is a specialist and understands this better. Your task is to find peace of mind. You may need to consult a psychologist who will tell your children how to behave in difficult situations. You will be advised how to proceed, and perhaps they will prompt you where to turn. If during the marriage you or your children were subjected to violence, then find a unique crisis center which will help.
It is tough to speak with a hostile person, it is even more difficult if it is a man, and it is almost impossible with an ex-husband. Do not give in to provocations, do not allow yourself to be intimidated. Make it clear that you will not communicate with an aggressive person, demand that you be respected. Do not think that harsh words can offend. This is not a situation where you can afford to almond. We are talking about you, your children and their mental health.
If there are threats from the husband to your children, firstly, do not be afraid, and secondly, do not dismiss them. Although the police do not like to interfere in family quarrels, you are already strangers to each other, and you are divorced. Therefore, boldly warn your husband about your intention to contact the relevant authorities. Write a statement to the precinct and the department. In case of repeated threats, write again. If the police do not take action, write to the prosecutor’s office, which has ways of putting pressure on the police. The main thing – do not be silent, do not try to endure or sit out. You will find those who can help you.
Do not become a silent sacrifice.
Feel free to enter a new life with children; do not be afraid to move to its next stage. Find a job if you used to be at home with children. This will give you confidence, and the financial side of life is critical. A happy, confident woman will surely find her true love.
The law is always on the side of the injured party. According to Indianian law, a home tyrant can receive up to two years in prison.
Often, physical abuse grows out of psychological violence. The obedience of a woman who agrees to everything brings abuse according to her children. If the husband constantly criticizes the spouse or children, shouts and offends, it means that they are exposed to emotional violence.
It is worth noting that they are excellent actors. They repent, promise to change, they want to, but they are just not ready to lose the sacrifice. They cannot assert themselves without children. A woman can get along with this role so much that it will be possible to change psychology only with the help of a specialist.
The child will require the help of the psychologist. He must interpret the roles of a man and a woman in a family to him, and give a healthy idea of relationships and responsibility. Do not think that it is better for the child to grow up in a full-fledged family with a father prone to violence than with a single mother. The atmosphere of hatred and constant danger for the baby is much worse.
The fact is that a person prone to violence, like a drug addict. He always requires an increase in dosage. In the case of beatings, this is a complication of an already complicated relationship. If he hit with impunity once, it will happen again, and therefore you should not believe an apology. Defending is also useless; it will only increase the irritation.
At this stage, the psychologist can still help. According to psychologists, first of all, you need to learn to respect and love yourself, not to allow your husband humiliation and insults in his address. It is difficult. Therefore it is worth understanding for yourself that when it comes to periodic disgraces, there can be no love and no talk.
Leave quietly and quickly. No one should be aware of this intent. If the torturer finds out, it will be worse. If the husband began to beat your children, you must run to the site, knock on the neighbors. By the way, neighbors can become witnesses in the police, even if they can not help with anything.
It is necessary to leave when the husband is not at home, taking with you money, documents, things needed for you and the child, as well as jewelry. Of course, the husband will ask for forgiveness and persuade him to return. The only thing you can do is stop all communication with him. If you go back, the union of the family will result in a punishment for leaving.
There are several reasons why women return to their abusive husbands. This is a material dependence, aggression, with the help of which wives are given themselves back, threats and, oddly enough, passionate love. Often it is just a matter of habit. To avoid this, it is essential after leaving the family immediately contact a specialized center for assistance to victims of family violence.
Also, after leaving you should go to the emergency room to remove the beatings. Next, you need to write a statement to the district police officer and specify the witnesses. The divisional will send to the forensic examination, and there it is necessary to bring all the documents from the emergency room.